


Of All the Reasons Why

by Just_Another_Day



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Angst, Implied Sex With The Ex, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 16:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Another_Day/pseuds/Just_Another_Day
Summary: Things don't end up flowing as smoothly for the alliance as they'd hoped.





	Of All the Reasons Why

Laurent left the bed far too soon for Damen's tastes. Damen would have liked to spend the whole night taking him apart, again and again, the way he remembered Laurent liking so well. Instead, Damen had to settle for propping himself up so that he could watch Laurent dress.

"You could extend your visit so that we would have more time," Damen suggested.

Laurent paused in his lacing. "Why? A week is long enough to come to some sort of agreement."

It hadn't been long enough in the past, Damen thought. If it had, Delpha wouldn't still be hanging in this odd limbo of belonging to two separate countries and to neither all at once. But then again, if it had, they wouldn't need to keep returning to the negotiation table together, and Damen was hardly about to complain about that. Not when it was the only opportunity he got to see Laurent at all any more.

"I wasn't talking about the politics and you know it," said Damen.

"Then there's no point." Laurent gestured between himself and where Damen was reclined naked on the sheets. "This isn't going to happen again, you know."

"I've heard that before."

Damen probably shouldn't have said that out loud, he thought as he watched Laurent visibly bristle.

"Yes, I do so enjoy having my moments of weakness used against me, thank you."

Frustrated – a painfully familiar feeling under these circumstances – Damen countered, "That's not… If it's a weakness, then I can hardly use it against you, since I share it. I'm the one who wants you to stay. I _always_ want you to stay."

"Then you'd do well to learn to live with disappointment."

"You're never a disappointment to me."

Laurent turned his face away very deliberately and recommenced fastening his jacket into place, restoring the layer of personal armour between the two of them. Though he fumbled a little when he got to the ties at his wrists, struggling to deal with them one-handed.

Damen sighed, rising from the bed and closing the gap between them. "Here. Let me."

"It's not your place to attend to me anymore," Laurent reminded Damen.

"I know. I don't care. Just let me help you."

After a few seconds, Laurent extended his arm towards Damen. The obvious absence of the gold cuff hit Damen just as hard now as it had the first time he'd seen Laurent without it.

Its twin still circled Damen's own wrist. He'd never considered removing it, not even in the angriest moments when he'd genuinely thought he might hate Laurent at least as much as he loved him.

"I hear the Empress has suggested one of her younger daughters to you for a marriage match," said Laurent as Damen tightened and tied the lace for him, offering the words up like this was nothing more than the same kind of idle chatter they might have exchanged in the past while Damen had done this for him as a matter of course. "Do you think you'll accept?"

Damen had told the majority of his advisors that he was considering it (though Nikandros for one had shaken his head at Damen knowingly). It would have made political sense to tell Laurent the same. The threat of an alliance between Akielos and Vask could give Damen more leverage in their negotiations over the next few days. 

Instead, Damen very candidly admittedly, "No. I won't."

"You do have to marry eventually, you know."

"I would marry today, happily, given the right offer."

Damen almost regretted saying it, for Laurent immediately looked pained. So much so that for a moment Damen thought that Laurent had misinterpreted his meaning and thought he was referring to someone else. But Laurent replied softly, "You know why that can't happen."

There were at least dozens of reasons why it couldn't work, yes. Laurent had carefully – and unemotionally, it seemed on the surface – listed many of them on the day before he'd first departed back to 'his own country' (as if Akielos hadn't in reality been just as much his as Damen's over the three years that they'd ruled from Marlas together). Laurent had also brought them up again every time they'd momentarily fallen back together since. 

But there were also hundreds of reasons why they should still try. Thousands, even. And the fact that they both still so obviously _wanted_ it should be the most important of all, in Damen's opinion.

Damen was still certain that they could make it work if they just tried hard enough. If they didn't let themselves be defeated by the seemingly endless arguments, and the growing external pressures, and the knowledge that what they were establishing might be temporary and cause considerable upheaval in the future, for things couldn't really last like this long-term without there being a proper heir that both countries could accept on equal terms when the time came. Damen still refused to accept that they couldn't have what they wanted, even if they managed it through strength of will alone. 

It shouldn't have to be a choice between what they wanted and what their people needed. They should be able to have both.

If only Laurent would just let himself be convinced.

It wouldn't happen tonight, though, it seemed, for Laurent was determined to leave.

"Don't be late tomorrow," Laurent warned just before he slipped through the door of Damen's rooms (which had once been _their_ rooms). 

Like Damen would waste a minute of the time he was allowed to spend in Laurent's presence, even if they were going to spend it bickering over what portion of the taxes in Delpha belonged to Akielos or Vere and the like. That was far better than not seeing Laurent at all.

"Don't worry, I'll be early," Damen said, hoping that Laurent – never to be beaten to the mark – might take that as a cue to arrive at the meeting early himself. Maybe then they could actually spend at least a few minutes talking alone together without the loaded understanding that it was going to lead to sex, or the disparity of Laurent standing there with one foot literally out the door and fully clothed while Damen was entirely bare to him (in more ways than one).

If Damen could just manage to plant the seed of what he wanted to happen, and how they might realistically get there, then maybe Laurent would listen.

Damen wasn't going to give up on that hope any time soon.


End file.
